


Shine Your Light On Me

by simonsrosebud



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Baz Pitch - Freeform, Carry On Countdown, Carry On Countdown (Simon Snow), Carry On Countdown 2018, Fluff, Fluffy Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow, Gryffindor, Hogwarts, Kissing, M/M, Muggles, POV Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Ravenclaw, Secret Relationship, Simon Snow - Freeform, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch - Freeform, Wizards, carry on, christmas break, coc2018
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-03 00:10:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16797517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simonsrosebud/pseuds/simonsrosebud
Summary: Normally, I’d hold off from telling my father that I’m dating a Gryffindor for possibly forever (not to mention the fact that it's a boy), but I can’t bear sneaking glances any longer.With already being in different houses, their relationship was doing fine on hidden glances and secret meetups. But now that Simon's got nowhere to go for break, Baz has no choice but to come out fully to his father. There's no way he can play pretend any longer with Simon around him every second for a whole month.





	1. let me be with you (beyond our four walls)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!! I wrote this first shorter part for the 2018 countdown but I'm thinking that I'm gonna continue it (considering I've already written more to it lol!!). So if you end up liking what I've got so far then keep a look out for literally tomorrow probs bc I'm gonna finish the next part within a day! xoxo

**_SIMON_ **

“Bloody hell, you're a disgrace to Ravenclaw, Niall.”

I tense up. I know that voice. I’d know it anywhere.

He’s already got a sneaky smirk at me when I lift my head up out of my book. Penny doesn’t notice. She’s too busy jotting things down for her potions homework.

I close up my things. “Um, I'm gonna take a quick break before dinner.”

Penny looks at me curiously, but nods. “Okay. I'll probably go hang out with Agatha so just send Lucy if you need me before then.” I nod. I probably won't send Lucy anyway. She's already gone with a message once today, I’ll let the poor cat rest.

He's waiting in an empty hallway when I get there, and kisses me against the crook in the wall before I can say hi. “Feel like I haven't gotten to see you in forever.”

I smile against his mouth. Soft Baz is my favorite. “You just saw me in lessons.” I run my fingers through his silky hair. I pretend I don't notice the way he tilts his head into my touch.

“Not like _this_.” He kisses a mole on my jawline, and then the one behind my ear. Then he tucks his head in my neck and kisses the skin there too. “I wish we could actually do things together. Eat at the same table, hang out in the same common room. You can't even cheer me on at quidditch matches.”

I grin. I can't help it. “Technically that one isn't _with_ me.”

**_BAZ_ **

I take his lips in mine again. I can't help it. “Shut up.”

He does his best not to smile into it, and wraps his arms around my neck.

Even kissing Simon Snow is a competition. He pushes against my lips like it’s a fight, and pulls me in by my robe like he’s the winner of our non-existent fight. I shouldn't be complaining. I tend to egg him on.

I pull away and kiss down his jaw. I nip at the skin, gentle as to not to leave a mark but just enough to get a reaction out of Simon. He lets out a huff of breath and grips my side. “Go to Hogsmeade with me and Fiona. It's her one outing of the year.” I joke and pull back to look at him.

He slumps against the wall. “Um, I’m not… allowed anymore.” He smiles awkwardly like he wants me to let it go. I can't.

“Davy won't let you go?” His foster father is an absolute disgrace. According to Snow, he had been interested in fostering him, but only took him in when he knew for sure that he’d gotten his Hogwarts letter. Because god forbid Davy care for a child who isn't a wizard. I wouldn't let that man have custody over a cat, much less an actual child.

Simon huffs and crosses his arms. He pretends to focus on something out the window to avoid my face. “I don't want to talk about this, Baz.” He sidles past me and out of the nook I had pulled him into earlier.

“Simon.” I grab his arm. I let my hand slide down into his, and I’m surprised he takes it. He’s ridiculously headstrong. And stubborn. And any other synonym. “Did something happen?”

He shakes his head, but when I don't let go he rolls his eyes. “He just… we got into a fight again. I tried asking him why he’s been fostering me for so long but never wanted to adopt me- cause, like, he could’ve sent me years ago to a family that _would have_ wanted to adopt me.” He scoffs and rolls his eyes again. This time they’re watery. He scrunches his nose. “As if it's _my_ fault I wanted a family” He’s got his hands in his hair, pulling on it while trying not to cry.

Fuck.

Snow has respect for Davy, not a lot, but enough. It’s kind of the only reason he stayed with him instead of trying to go somewhere- anywhere else. Davy was a safe go to. He let him have food, he bought him things for school, he was the only one to take him in after about twelve years of no one.

But this? This gets to him. The same thing over and over again. The same fight as the first one he ever told me about. Two years ago when we first became friends, after previous years of what he’d thought was me hating him. When I was in love with him and he was too oblivious. Before _this_.

I pull Simon to me by his shoulder and wrap my arms around him. He tucks his arms around my waist and rubs his face into my chest. “He kicked me out. I always at least had the boys home to shelter me, but I’m legal now and the one I’ve gone to won't take me anymore.”

I breathe into his hair. “Good. That gives me even more reason to take you home with me for the holidays.” It's selfish to say, but I'm not sure anything else I say will make him necessarily feel better.

**_SIMON_ **

I probably should have told Baz about Davy kicking me out when it actually happened this summer. Penny didn't _mind_ housing me for a week before going back to school, but Baz would have _jumped_ at the chance. He’d never admit it. It sounds too desperate for him. I think it's heartwarming.

I know Baz wants to stop with the meetups and secrets and keeping us hidden from everyone except Fiona. It’s been a bit over a year now. Even our friendship _before_ this was a secret, so I won't lie. I want it too.

He pushes a hand through my hair (I love when he does that). “Did anything else happen?” He knows I don't want to talk about it in any more detail than I've already given him. He also knows that I wouldn't even if he asked.

I shrug. “No. I just don't have a guardian to allow me to go off grounds, so I can't go to Hogsmeade.”

He sighs. “Okay. You'll come back to Hampshire with me for Christmas then?”

I try not to freeze. I’ve been there before, I’ve met his family already, but a whole month or so is a lot more nerve-wracking. I try to push it to the back of my head, though, it’ll be fine if I go. Right?

“If it’s okay with your family.”

Baz smirks, the tosser, and steps out of the nook. “I'm quite sure.”

**_PENNY_ **

It's not like Simon to be late to dinner, the scavenger he is, but it's also not like him to look openly as nervous as he looks right now. I think I may know why, and I’ve been dying to find out. “Are you alright?” I ask.

He sits down next to me and leans in close. “I'm dating Baz Pitch from Ravenclaw.”

For once I can say that that's definitely not what I was expecting. Granted, I was _sure_ he was dating _someone_ , but not _Basilton_ . I let out a laugh. “I _knew_ it.” Simon chokes on his water. “Kind of, I-you're really dating a _Pitch?_ They're wicked brilliant, Simon, not to mention the power they've got over others just because of their _name_ , bloody hell.”

It’s all such a sudden thing. Never in a million years would I guess Baz. I knew Simon was sneaking around, but I never would have expected it to be with a boy. Much less a Pitch from a different house.

Simon's jaw fishes open and closed. “I-I know. Um, but he’s- you know. He can be intense and-and kind of an arse sometimes but he's nice to me and he-he loves me and-”

“Simon I’m not shitting on it. If you two are happy together then that's great. You deserve that.” I place my hand over his. He gives me a tight smile. Fuck. I need to ask it. “How come you never told me you were gay?”

His face goes through a bit of a panic. He pulls his hand back and scratches the back of his head. “I-I don't really go by anything, actually. I've liked girls in the past, but I love Baz right now. That's just- there's, that's it.”

I grin at him. He needs it.


	2. don't make this harder for me

**_BAZ_ **

I maybe should have told Simon about my father’s views on my queerness, but knowing him he’d just worry more than necessary.

I had told my father that Snow was spending Christmas with us because of his family situation, to which I went into detail to surely secure him an undoubted spot at my house. Or at least my father’s unreturnable approval. Pity comes in hand sometimes.

Don’t get me wrong, my father has kept his mouth shut when he’s around Snow before, but that was when he thought we were just friends. I’ve still yet to tell him that we’re quite a bit more than that. Normally, I’d hold off forever from telling my father that I’m dating a Gryffindor (not to mention the fact that it's a boy), but I can’t bear sneaking glances any longer. A day or two was fine, but all of winter break is too long to pretend.

Once I see my father come into view I stand and shove my hands into my pockets. I can’t say I’m not surprised. I’m surprised he even came down to Hogsmeade in the first place.

“Hello, father.” I hold my chin up high. He nods at me, but it’s the only sign of acknowledgement I get before he sits himself down. I try excessively hard not to roll my eyes out of my head. “So, you remember that Simon Snow is staying with us over the break, yes?”

He sighs. “Yes, Basilton, you’ve told me.”

I find it easier not to look at him. The wall behind him, maybe. Or his forehead instead of meeting his eyes. I take a sip of butterbeer and try not to sound as nervous as I am. I mask it awfully well, but after all he’s not just some lad from school, he’s my father. He can catch my bluff a mile away by now. “Also, I wanted to tell you that Simon is my boyfriend.”

He freezes.

I quirk an eyebrow. “He has been for a year now.”

Father keeps his eyes down for a questionable amount of time. It makes me want to fake a laugh and tell him I’m kidding. That I’ve got a nice powerful girlfriend to marry once I leave Hogwarts. That I was never gay in the first place.

But I can't do that, because Simon would be crushed to have to hide our relationship all over again. And I’d be crushed to see him disappointed in me. Also, because Fiona would beat the shit out of me for chickening out.

My father takes a sip of his drink, but when he lifts his gaze it never quite reaches mine. He clears his throat. Maybe he’ll respond with something half-positive. Maybe something as simple as a “good for you, Baz”, or more likely a “good for Snow”. I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m relatively smarter than Simon. And definitely not as bloody thick. I may be a lovesick fool for him, but I won’t lie when I say that he scored good by landing me. My father at least knows how to acknowledge my strengths and smarts.

Except he doesn’t do that. He instead looks at his watch and feigns surprise. “Oh, bloody hell, Basil, it’s nearly three o’clock. I must be going.” He stands from the table. “I will see you soon, we can talk more then if you so wish.”

I let him walk away without another word. I’d like to say that it’s because he doesn’t deserve my begging, but I just can’t get any words out at all. There’s nothing I could think up anyway, he’s halfway out the door as it is.

**_SIMON_ **

“Baz is meeting his father at Hogsmeade to tell him that we’re together.” I’m sure Hagrid could do without my nervous commentary, but he’s always up to talk. I don’t think he minds much.

“And you didn’t go with him?”

“No.” Hagrid’s new kitten jumps up on my lap. I wish I could take her in, my cat Lucy would love to have a little friend. “M’not allowed to go to Hogsmeade.” She’s soft as anything, softer than Lucy ever was. Maybe it’s a kitten thing.

Hagrid turns away from whatever he’s cooking up. “S’at cause of yer father?” I nod. If there’s anyone besides Penny and Baz that I could tell anything, it’s Hagrid. He’s like a mentor to me. Kind of like a cool uncle. A muggle in my potions class told me that  _ everyone’s _ always got a cool uncle.

“Ya know I can always help with gettin ya out on breaks and weekends and such, Simon. Not yer fault ya ended up with a shitty father.”

“He’s  _ not _ my father.” I can feel my magic rise up underneath my skin. I’ve always been able to control it, but sometimes it gets the best of me. Hagrid always taught me to control it, says I shouldn’t tell anyone except the people I trust most. Magic isn’t supposed to just… flare up in wizards, like mine does. Penny says the overflow of magic is why I’m shit at spells. Baz says it’s why my body always run hot.

Hagrid sits across from me. “Simon, you’ve got friends as close as family and a place to sleep here if ya ever need it, but there’s no harm in telling yer friends that Davy is yer dad. It’s just a title, it doesn’t change anythin. Especially to that Pitch boy. He hates  _ him _ well enough, it won’t make him resent  _ you _ .”

I drag my fingers down the kittens fur. I don’t need to meet Hagrid’s eyes. I don’t want to. “It’s just embarrassing. Makes me feel like a disgrace. Couldn’t even keep my biological family, much less get an adopted one.”

Hagrid sighs and stands up again. “Would it make ya feel better to take Buckbeak for a ride?”

I shrug. “Don’t feel like it. I’ll feed him if you’d like?”

“Go ahead. He’s more loyal to you than anyone I’ve seen.” He nods towards the bucket of food for the hippogriff. I can smell it from here. I almost make it outside without another comment, but he stops me before I can close the door behind me.

“Aye, Simon!” He points his knife towards me. “That dad of Basilton’s is never father of the year, either. You two are more alike than ya are different.” He turns back to whatever he’s chopping up. “Remember that when you tell him about Davy.”

I don’t respond. I don’t know how to.

Maybe I will take Buckbeak for a ride.

**_MORDELIA_ **

Father doesn’t explain much as to why we’re not waiting for my brother’s train to get in from Hogwarts after mine. I can imagine why, but I only hope it’s not true.

“Basil has something of mine, Father! I don’t want to leave without him and Simon!” There’s nothing that Basilton could possibly have that is mine, we’re not even in the same houses. I should have said that  _ Simon _ has something of mine. That may of been more believable, being as he’s also a Gryffindor.

Father wasn’t too thrilled with my placement in Gryffindor when he found out, but I didn’t quite mind- or care. Basil seemed proud. He made Simon and his friend Penelope check that I was settled in fine the night of the sorting.

Father huffs. “I don’t think we have the room for three of you, Mordelia.” He tries tugging on my robe, but I pull my arm back. I probably should take my robes off. I just can’t bring myself to yet.

“We  _ always _ have plenty of room.” I cross my arms.

“Well I don’t have the  _ time _ to wait for them to arrive. So let’s  _ go _ or I’ll leave you to wait for them by yourself.”

Oh. I love my brother, but I don’t trust strangers at the station not to steal my things while I wait.

  
  



End file.
